NO NOTHING

No car, no house, no four-poster bed, no box-spring mattress, no Eames Lounge Chair, no Dfs leather lounge suite and no Ramvik coffee table with clear acrylic lacquered beech veneer. No rugs, no curtains, no Egyptian cotton sheets, no desk lamp, no desk, no wine collection, no PSP, no Sony BRAVIA flatscreen television, no Nintendo Wii and no Bose Lifestyle Home Entertainment Centre with non-directional base sound unit. No camping equipment, no golf clubs and no club membership. No bespoke suits, no cashmere socks, no handmade Italian leather shoes. No DVD collection, no espresso machine, no dishwasher, no dishes to wash, no electric toothbrush, no lawnmower, no lawn, no cat, no dog and no canoe.

No material possessions at all really and, from Friday, no job too.

Nearly four years in London and nothing to show for it but the record player I bought for eight pounds from a car boot sale in Wimbledon, a three-foot-high, wood panelled, rotating bookcase given to me by a friend before she left the country and the regulation drift-wood-catch of records, CDs, pictures and books that accumulate any time you stop in one place long enough to get your name on a utility bill. And that is it, aside from a few clothes, a nervous looking bank account, an iPod, a backpack full of anti-malaria tablets, an economy class open return ticket to Auckland via Cairo, Dubai, Mumbai, Colombo, Singapore and Melbourne and a freeloading sock-monkey called Bubbles who, like so many unplanned offspring, came into the world as the direct result of a Sunday drinking session. That excessive alcohol consumption will harm your unborn sock-monkey is now beyond dispute. The poor bastard never had a chance.

But despite his birth defects Bubbles at least has personality and in this world there’s much to be said for that. By Saturday morning we’ll both be in Egypt.

I’m not sure what this is going to be really aside from a way for you to keep track of Bubbles and me while we’re on the road. I’m not even sure how frequently it’ll get updated. Possibly never for all I know but keep an eye on it over the next four months anyway, just in case.

I’ll see some of you for a swift pint tomorrow night at the Phoenix in Victoria. The rest I’ll see some other time.

That’s all for now,

Dale Atkinson